I caught a cold from socializing

When I make a plan, I stick with it even if my brain is no longer working and my body feels like jello. That's how stubborn I am. Last Sunday there was a 4 hour long church event. I enjoyed it immensely until about the 3 hour mark, yet I refused to leave because I had planned to leave later. HP bar dipped into the red. Allow me to explain:

So I start out with a set amount of HP, which represents my capacity for social interaction.

At this party I was given the role of "socialite", the You-helped-I-guess role since pretty much everyone kind of had to do that anyways. Metaphorically, I am walking through the tall grass and meeting people. I have a decision to make at encounter, a social interaction (fight), introduce them to someone else (PKMN), or run. Since I was given a role title, I felt obligated to fulfill my duties so I picked social interaction quite often. As a result, my HP ran low pretty quick. Now, there are different levels of battles.

Metapod people - These are my favorites because these don't really zap my energy at all. (This is about the best you can do besides the very rare person that adds to my energy bar during social interaction.) Ah, these are generally the people I know I already like and are comfortable with, or people that just vibe well with me: Tomboys, laid back guys that aren't interested in me, or funny girls without much of a filter.

Rattata/pidgey people - This is most everyone else. Both people in the conversation are expending energy to keep the interaction going. And both people are stressing about whether the other person is having a good time.

Gym trainer people - This is where the real HP hits come from. People who are trying to impress me, people that give me the impression I need to impress them, guys who have feelings for me, and people who don't ask you questions back.

Elite 4 people - Passive aggressive people, people who talk extremely slowly or extremely polite people. I cannot even. I die. I die.

So about hour 3 I'm about to KO. I have like ONE HP left... BUT I have a family dinner after this which I'd be perfectly on time for if I left just 30 minutes later. I am... very stubborn. So because I can't go to the pokemon center (home). I have several potions conveniently available to me at this location.

-Play music +1 HP

-Play with an animal to avoid social interaction +2 HP

-Shut myself in the bathroom and watch youtube videos +5 HP

Shutting myself in the bathroom would probably make people think I had diarrhea and then when someone opened the bathroom door that can't even lock and find me playing with my phone, it would solidify everyone's nagging suspicion that I am, indeed, very strange. So, I chose the first two. I played some music, but I was so INCREDIBLY tired that I made mistakes on songs were I was even the creator of the improvisation and had to expend energy to remember how to fix it. My brain was even too scrambled to learn THE CHOPSTICK song with my friend. 0___0. I reiterate, the chopstick song. And then afterwards, people came to talk to me. To make it worse, one of the people who approached me was an Elite 4 person. OMG. I am DYING at this point, D-Y-I-N-G. I definitely dipped into the negative and hope she didn't find me too rude. The lower my HP bar, the less fs are given, excuse my french.

I also played with some chickens but it didn't help much and at some point I told someone that I was in a "ballerina class" and invited everyone to go to New Zealand with me. It was a total disaster. Walls are down, filter is off because all my energy is now being redirected to just maintaining civilized social standards. *SIGH.

And then afterwards, I caught a cold.

What Pinterest taught me about fashion

Ah fashion...

These past few months I've been more active on pinterest after turning on the notifications button. (Being type A, I need to get rid of every notifications symbol on my screen). So I've become more fashionable now, what with all the expertise I've garnered from flipping through pictures of "street style" or "outfit of the day! :)" etc.

One day, as I was flipping through images in a zombie like stupor, I made a stunning realization. I started looking through the pictures and imagining myself in those outfits... and almost threw up in my mouth (jk). No, but I made the stunning realization that those beautiful and fashionable outfits would not look so beautiful and fashionable on me. I will give you an example.

See this outfit? It may conjure words like "hipster" and "high maintenance" .... On me it would conjure questions like "are you still in your pajamas?" or "Are you going to the gym?"

What about this one

On her it's high fashion and class. On me it's "Didn't do laundry for a week and now that's her only clothes."

I realized that sometimes fashion is about style... and sometimes it's just a person with a sexy body wearing something tight and/or weird.

Marathon of events

Just need... to get past August 19th weekend...

Re-living your embarrassing past during the wedding slideshow

If you ever wondered why I don't really take pictures, there are multiple reasons... one of the more shallow ones being that I just never look good in pictures. I never knew there were strategies to taking photos and people learn them to become more photogenic; things like angling your head a certain way, and doing certain poses with your arms, hips and legs (can you tell I don't know any of them...)

My friend is collecting pictures of us for her wedding and is sending them to us via text message with accompanying blurbs like "Awww, we were so cute" and "We were so young!" I'm in there looking like:

You know... the typical. No surprise here. I was always making stupid faces and looking sort of out of it. The one thing that did surprised me was realizing how the majority of our photos are of us in pajamas... Like 90% of them. It gave me two epiphanies: 1.) We were probably in pajamas our whole college career and 2.) I need to invest in some better looking pajamas. If you're culturally american, asian pajamas are basically just normal clothes that became so hideous that they are no longer acceptable to be seen by the general public. We recycle them by wearing them at home... sexy <3. This instance reminds me of how I used to wear this jacket from Costco all the time, and one day suddenly realized people probably would recognize it eventually and think I buy all my clothes at Costco. They were both frightening realization to say the least. I admit I have made my fair share of fashion faux pas.

I guess all that can be done now is to abduct my friends with their computers and then wipe their memory with the Men-in-Black LED-flashlight-looking-thing. haha. Goodness... I guess I'll just have to let them be uncovered at all our respective weddings and then take the evidence with me to the grave for the remainder of my life.

Just when I thought I was good at adulting...

I have been adulting it so well lately, okay. I have been killing it at work, eating healthy, exercising regularly, going to sleep on time... This morning, I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, and did my laundry. I packed my HEALTHY lunch for Monday and Tuesday. Are you kidding me? I got this down. I was like "I'm going to survive alright in this world. I am going to be fine."

Then today, I leave my friends' party 10 minutes later than I planned and am late to church. Because I was rushing, I forgot to bring back my pot so I quickly contact my friend to see if I can get it back next week. I arrive at church and realize that today they combined services so I missed the service. I drive back home and realize I lost my freakin' phone. By this time, my stress level is through the roof. I am an adult, okay. I plan everything down to a T. Things like this shouldn't be happening to me anymore. Why is this happening to me?! To add to my stress, there were several people that I knew had texted me about something or another and I forgot who. I was freaking out about having to post something on Facebook telling everyone that i lost my phone... I haven't posted anything on Facebook for years. Years! I can't let it go. I drive to church twice, pace around the house like 5 times... This goes on for half an hour... and my cellphone is under the seat of my car. =______=

..... Please excuse me while I just implode right here.

Romantic relationships

How do you make decisions about who would be a good partner, your other half, your compadre? What do you use? Your heart? Your head? A combination of heart and head?

This is heart.

It has no self-control. You leave it alone for ONE SECOND and when you turn your head to look, there's a huge mess and it's gazing up at you like "what just happened..."

Needless to say, heart needs some supervision. There are two possible supervisors of heart, Head and Gut.

Head is the type A supervisor that determines the standards. When Head takes over, out comes a laundry list of expectations that possible candidates should have: Christian, tall, smart, deep, financially secure, loves the outdoors etc. When Head meets a potential partner, it holds an interview while checking off boxes on the list. When standards are not met, Heart is on lock down. When standards are met, Heart is given full control, which can be... disastrous.

Because laundry lists are generally characteristics that are quickly observable, Head lets heart out too early. Once Heart takes over, every glance, movement, word is analyzed to discern whether said target reciprocates feelings. The goal now is to obtain. With Heart as a lead, Gut and Head are blinded. The machiavellian character gets in as well as liars. And this isn't discovered until a copious amount of effort and hope has already been invested... because those are things learned with time.

The main problem with this method is that it is an oversimplification of the complexity of relationships and people. People are extremely complex. We're a combination of family environment, genetic disposition, schooling, traumatic past events, hopes and desires... it doesn't end. It would be hard to fully understand someone, even after a lifetime of knowing them. We can, in no way, simply people to a laundry list of character traits EVEN IF the laundry list had so-called "deep and noble" qualities. It can not predict the suitability of the person as YOUR specific partner just as it can not fully encompass that person as an individual. Let alone knowing other people, we hardly even know ourselves for that matter!

So what am I vouching for? You would be right if you guessed Gut. There have been several scientific studies that showed our Gut (or intuition) knows things before our head, as measured by activation of sympathetic and parasympathetic parameters. Gut operates off instinct built from past experiences. And I also believe, our gut is often how God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit. So, how do we tune in to Gut?

There are two questions you should ask yourself about every person you're interested in:

1.) Do I like spending time with this person?

2.) Would I respect this person's decisions even if they differed from my own?

Not to worry. Though it seems overly simple, actually everything that is in the laundry list for head is embedded somewhere within these two questions in a much less direct manner.

And as for physical attraction... don't worry because Heart has that down. If Heart wasn't at least a little stirred, Gut and Head don't need to step in at all to stop it from going haywire. (And sometimes Head might be surprised at what ends up stirring Heart.)

We go through a lot of trouble putting our hopes on people that aren't right for us, while missing out on wonderful people because they don't fit some superficial standard. Pretty much every single girl I know has this laundry list thing, opening themselves up to missing out or being deceived and disillusioned.

It takes much longer to answer those two Gut questions than it is to look at a laundry list because those two questions are things answered through repeated observations. Heart gets let out later, but there's a much greater chance it's being let out to something good.

This chapter of my life is the chapter where I, much more than at other times, would appreciate the ability to freeze my body and become dormant until life becomes easy. Like those bacterium. What's it... the tardigrade.

Look at that smug jerk. He's like "watchu lookin' at, eh?!" (He's Canadian. I don't know why. He's a Canadian gangster.) His face looks like a fusion of butcher paper and a daffodil. I'm so envious. When the climate gets unfavorable you can just roll up and come back when everything is fine and dandy huh? You toad livered rascal.

I would like to come back when they figure out how to download skills into people's heads like the Matrix so I don't make stupid mistakes because I'm green. I would also like to come back when "Man Jose" really starts to live up to its name because seriously, why am I still single? Answer: because of your resting b*tch face, Tiff. I kid. It's on purpose. I'm overly careful and super intuitive. Don't ask me out until I like you already.

ahhh, the truth is that I had a bad day. Work is hard. :( Why can't I be perfect and never make any mistakes for the rest of my lifeeeeee... why.... why do I have to be green and go through a learning curve... Why can't i be perfect from the start, why.... *sigh. I just can't right now and I'm being dramatic and totally hard on myself for not understanding stupid medical insurance billing. I need to release negative emotion through saying stupid stuff. Haphazard comedy through dramatic over exaggerations is why I'm still here, and not a boxcar child down at the riverbend. Yes, being a young hobo is my backup plan.

"all's well, come in everybody." If that's not a hobo, I'm not sure what is.